Spam for littleguyfrombrooklyn

[endsinafight]

Bucky'd been fidgety throughout the debriefing with Fury, even if he hadn't moved a muscle as he listened to the mission -- another HYDRA target, smaller, on a remote island in the Pacific. Not the usual setup, which made him uneasy from the get-go. But there was something else, something nagging at him, something in Fury's tone that told him there was more to this mission than he was willing to divulge. It wasn't a surprise. Fury might not be HYDRA, but in some ways his methods were so similar that it felt like being back there anyway. He definitely believed in the need to know principle, and obviously he didn't feel like they needed to know whatever it was he was holding back. His gaze darted to Steve, wondering if he'd picked up on it, too.

But if Steve had, his expression didn't betray his thoughts.

He pressed his lips together as they were dismissed, Fury addressing him as the others agents involved in the mission filtered out of the room. "Barnes. Hang back a minute."

And there it was, he thought, meeting Steve's eyes only briefly before lingering as Fury requested. One the door was shut again, the other man turned to study him.

"You have a different mission while they're disabling all of HYDRA's operating systems and containing the operatives."

Bucky studied him just as intently, his voice flat when he responded. "Who'm I eliminating?"

If Fury was surprised by his response, he gave nothing away. "Your target is Katya Belyakov."

"Who is she?" His voice was wary.

"You sure you wanna know the details, Barnes?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"If you're asking me to murder someone, yes," Bucky said, jaw tightening.

Fury regarded him for a long moment. "Essentially, she's the of the most dangerous people in the galaxy. Mind control abilities that she's utilized to force others to commit her dirty work. She's likely being accompanied by a former SHIELD operative who turned out to be moonlighting for HYDRA, Grant Ward. I'd prefer him to remain alive. He's got a lot to answer for."

Every muscle in Bucky's body tensed at the information about Belyakov, but also the name Grant Ward, his stomach turning in recognition.

"Ah. See you're familiar with him then."

"Unfortunately," Bucky responded stiffly, struggling to maintain his composure. "I'm assuming this isn't an optional mission." There was a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"You knew when you signed the dotted line that there's no such thing here, Barnes. Is there a problem? Or do I need to go over the fine print of your contract to refresh your memory?"

Fuck you, he thought. "No, Sir. Am I free to go?"

"You're dismissed."

--

An hour later, he was suited up in his tac gear, breathing steady and even despite the wild pounding of his heart as he boarded the quinjet with a team he didn't know or trust, and the only person on the earth he truly did.

Comments

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve wasn't known for his skills in intelligence, not by any means--but he was really good at keeping track of Bucky. He had spent a lifetime watching Bucky and now that they're back together again, he had put a shockingly large percentage of his storied determination in relearning the subtleties of his new tells. He was startled when Fury had kept Bucky back for a quiet word--he hadn't seen that coming--and it was all he could do to not explicitly snoop at the door. He hesitated, considering whether or not it was something Bucky would be bothered by, but the decision was ultimately taken out of his hands by another member of the team asking him for advice on how to gear up and hurrying him away.

It was only when he saw the slight shift in Bucky's body language that he wondered if it was a purposeful diversion. Bucky's heart was racing, even though he overtly seemed calm, and Steve was concerned the placidity of his face and body was more due to long experience in dealing with anxiety more than anything else.

They were sitting next to each other on the quinjet, but it was impossibly public. He knew that Bucky was deeply concerned with his privacy and Steve wouldn't dream of damaging that for him. It was hard for Steve to relax, though. Usually before a mission like this, Steve spent a great deal of time running through possibilities in his head, playing out tactical scenarios or just visualizing the details of the fight. It put him in a strange, almost meditative sort of calm.

Now, though, as he tried to imagine his body making punches and throwing the shield, the imagery in his head kept going back to Bucky--Bucky's little twitches and the micro-expressions passing across the face.

Before long, he gave up and quietly tapped out a signal in Morse code on the shield, which was balanced against his knees. He would repeat it until Bucky acknowledged it.

It just said, "Status?"

[endsinafight]

Steve's instincts when it came to Bucky, were, as usual, spot on. He knew none of the others had a clue about the waves of nausea washing over him, that they had no idea his mind was racing. HYDRA had trained him well in schooling his facial features as well as his body language, and back then his mind had never raced because he'd been molded and programed to serve one purpose and only one purpose: whatever his handler told him his mission was.

Now, his mind was free of the programming, so despite the fact he could rather easily let his body and face slide into Winter Soldier stoicism, he had little control over the fact that his brain was on the spin cycle. He took slow, deep breaths, his shoulder pressed against Steve's, and normally that would be reassuring. Now, though, he couldn't help but feeling like they were almost back on opposite sides of the mission at hand because Steve had no idea about the task he'd been assigned. And it wasn't like there was a choice. Fury might not have come right out and said not to tell anyone, but the reminder about the specifics of his contract hadn't been lost on him, and he wasn't going to step out of line and endanger the terms that had allowed Steve, Wanda, Natasha and Wilson their freedom to return to the United States.

It wasn't like he hadn't done this a hundred or more times. He knew he was good at it, and not just because of HYDRA; he'd been the 107th's best sniper, had taken down countless Nazi's and HYDRA operatives with well-placed bullets. This was no different, really. His target worked for HYDRA.

And so did her handler.

He let his eyes close, thinking about the last time he'd seen Ward. It had been years ago now, but every encounter had been a nightmare.

It took him a moment to realize the quiet tapping to his right and he paused as it dawned on him what it was, and what it meant. It meant Steve noticed the slight change in his demeanor.

How did he even go about answering that one? He couldn't exactly tap back Ready to comply. Bitterness slid icy cold fingers up his spine and he barely managed to suppress a shiver.

Casually he tapped the seat beside him, quiet but quick.

"Ready."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve knew that Bucky spoke twenty odd languages and while he would never be jealous of the brutality that put them there, he wished badly there was some more overt way he could speak to him without observation. He knew French and German, and schoolboy Latin, but there was almost certainly people around who knew the modern languages and he wasn’t yet desperate enough to cobble together memories of prayers into a workable sentence.

Even the Morse was a risk. Almost certainly, if the others thought about it, they could pick up on what they were saying to each other—he was relying on their lack of observation.

He wasn’t happy with the answer he got. He tried again.

“Status Bucky. Not mission.”

[endsinafight]

Bucky's gaze slowly took in the rest of their teammates for the mission ahead, studying each of them in turn for a few seconds and memorizing all their faces. None of them seemed to be paying attention to the silent conversation he and Steve were having, fortunately. All of them were talking quietly and it was impossible not to notice how the one on the end -- a red haired guy -- kept glancing at him, curiosity clear in his expression. A hint of wariness, too. Good. He knew who he was dealing with.

He pressed his lips together as he picked up the newest message from Steve, exhaling inaudibly, but not daring to look at him. Somehow, Steve's frustration was easy for him to pick up on even in Morse code.

"Wary. Unfamiliar with facility and its purposes."

It was, at the very least, partially the truth.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve bumped his knee against Bucky’s and leaned his shoulder ever so slightly more firmly against him. He wished so badly they were alone—this strange dance in public was unsettling. He imagined that maybe, in a different context, there could almost be something thrilling about it—if they had been romantic back in the thirties, flirting below the notice of less observant eyes.

Now, though, he just wished that Monet was here to stick her cold nose against Bucky and offer comfort at Steve could not.

He had the instinct that wariness wasn’t all of the story, but he figured he wasn’t going to get anything too personal, even in near silent code.

But he had an idea about how to make it even more private. He shifted the shield further up on his knees, so it was fully in his lap and covering the hand closest to Bucky. Underneath it, he reached and gently touched Bucky’s thigh.

He tapped, “Fury meeting?”

[endsinafight]

His gaze darted immediately to the other men -- and two women -- seated across from them, but no one seemed to think anything was off. He pressed his back more firmly up against his seat, posture straightening. He let the warmth radiating off Steve's body thaw what felt very much like ice in his veins, focusing on his breathing until his heart rate leveled off into something more in the normal range. He needed to pull it together.

They'd taken out numerous HYDRA agents together when they'd gone to Russia. It hadn't been the plan, but things had gone South on that mission, and when it came down to it, self-defense was a far cry from a planned assassination.

He startled a little when Steve rested a hand on his thigh, tapping out another message, heart jumping once more even though he'd known Steve was going to want answers about that one. His own right hand was hidden behind Steve's shield at this angle and shifted it slightly, tapping out, "Additional mission. High level target."

There was no point in lying, because by the end of the day, Steve was going to know anyway. Lying would only jam an even larger wedge between them.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve felt something grip his heart and squeeze, unpleasant and painful. It was nothing like the happy pants of emotion that Bucky regularly sent through him. This was sadness and anger and pain, wrapped up in so much love that he was choking on it.

“You don’t like it,” he tapped out, immediately. He didn’t know the full depths of what Bucky was thinking, but it instantly came to him—Bucky didn’t want to be who he used to be. In Wakanda, he’d herded goats, for fucks sake. It wasn’t fair that Fury was asking him to assassinate people and it aches that Bucky said yes.

“Don’t have to,” he added.

[endsinafight]

If only not obeying was that simple. Steve had no idea what was at stake here, but Bucky was good, great at reading people. There was little doubt in his mind that if he didn't follow the orders that Fury gave, that all of their lives would be turned upside again. He'd be taken into federal custody, if not killed at the first opportunity that presented itself. And Fury knew damned well that Bucky was capable of accomplishing this mission. There was no pretending he wasn't.

If he screwed this up, all of the others, Steve included, would have their rights to be in the United States yanked once again, if not worse. And maybe he'd welcome death for himself, but it would crush Steve and if anyone deserved a semi-peaceful life, it was the man beside him.

What he wanted was to grab Steve's hand and wrap his own around it. But he didn't. That was absolutely out of the question here, hidden or not.

"Necessary evil." He let the tip of his index finger linger momentarily on the back of Steve's hand, trying his best to offer him some measure of comfort and reassurance.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve has gotten better at concealing his emotions, but this was testing him. His eyes were blazing and his jaw was tight. It was all he could do to keep his gaze down and fixed on an empty point on the quinjet floor.

If this target was so bad that Bucky thought they actually deserved assassinating, fine. He could handle that. His style was less subtle than Buck’s, but he’d killed an awful lot of folks in his time.

“Me,” he tapped out. “I do it.”

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

“Great idea,” he said. “Honestly, if we wanted, we could easily hop the border without anyone knowing, pay in cash. We could legitimately disappear, even if it’s just for vacation.”

[endsinafight]

"I think your friends would be worried," Bucky said after a moment. He shifted a little and looked down at the ankle bracelet he was sporting. "But I'm pretty sure I can get that thing off easily enough, provided there's not an explosive inside it that'll detonate if it's tampered with." He wasn't sure if Fury had gone that far, but HYDRA sure as hell would have.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve was genuinely a little startled to be reminded of the ankle bracelet and then he felt like an asshole. He bet it never left Bucky’s mind.

“Let’s get Natasha to look into it before you poke at it if there’s a risk it blows up,” Steve said, rubbing Bucky’s back hard at even the thought. “And we’ll just tell our friends we are going off the grid and bring a burner phone, in case iof emergencies.”

He kissed the top of Bucky’s head. “But it’ll just be us.”

[endsinafight]

It was something that weighed constantly on his mind, but at least they hadn't implanted any tracking devices inside his body. He'd dug out five of them once he'd gotten away from HYDRA back all those months ago.

"Okay," he agreed. The idea of having a leg blown off in addition to an arm wasn't one that held any appeal whatsoever. He briefly considered cracking a joke about pretending he was a pirate and getting a peg leg, but.

But. It felt like it would just fall flat and he didn't feel up to it anyway.

"Monet'll like it, too," he murmured.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Monet, who had almost silently followed them into the bathroom and pressed herself against Bucky’s leg, thumped her tail against the floor.

“Yeah she will,” Steve said. “I can’t wait. Do you think she’s ever even seen the woods, being a city dog?”

[endsinafight]

Bucky reached out and scratched behind her ears with his flesh hand, shaking his head. "I don't think so. We hadn't, til the war."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

“This’ll be a much nicer trip than the war,” Steve vowed. He was really getting into the spirit of thinking about this.

“Maybe I’ll grow the beard again. As a disguise. And because of the woods. Did you like the beard okay?”

[endsinafight]

"Didn't use to think you could grow one," he teased, but he pulled back to look at him, lifting his hand to Steve's face. "Yeah. Yeah, I liked it." He leaned in, pressing a hesitant kiss against his jaw, letting his lips linger there for a moment.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve grinned.

“Bucky, I think our dog is smarter ‘n me. She can spell! I never could do that in school.”

He leaned in and kissed Bucky’s cheek. “That sounds like fun. Let’s do that.”

[endsinafight]

Monet was on her feet before either of them had the chance to get up and he smiled, amused, because she really was a smart dog. His legs still felt a little like jello as he pushed himself to his feet and then reached down to help Steve up, too.

"I'm gonna change clothes," he told him.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve let Bucky help him up, but he didn’t immediately let go of his hand. Instead, he drew him in to give him another sweet kiss, a little giddy with the freedom.

“I should at least button up my shirt,” Steve said, warmly, before letting Bucky go.

“And you need your leash, huh, girl?” he said to Monet, who wagged her tail vigorously in delight.

[endsinafight]

He felt a little dizzy at the rush of affection he felt for Steve, at the smile on his face. "Probably easier with help?" he offered, gaze dropping to his unbuttoned shirt, reaching out and letting his fingers curl around the material on each side.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

“Yeah, I bet it would be,” Steve said, his voice low. He liked how Bucky reached for his clothes so easily. He wanted Bucky to have the freedom to touch him.

“Wanna do it for me, sweetheart?” he said.

[endsinafight]

His gaze dropped momentarily to Steve's mouth, a tiny shiver running through him at the term of endearment as he nodded, starting with the bottom button and fastening them one by one. Then he leaned in, pressing a kiss against his cheek. "Like when you call me that," he admitted, voice hushed.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve smiled at that quiet admission.

“I’m glad,” he said. “I want to shower you in sweet names, remind you as much as I can how good and sweet you are to me. For me. You’re my honey, my sweetheart, my baby.”

Steve had always been a talker and it went right to his head to see his words having an effect on Bucky.

[endsinafight]

Bucky shook his head a little, feeling his cheeks grow warm at that. "You're ridiculous, Rogers," he informed him, but the tiny smile on his face betrayed him as he turned to head across the hall to grab some clean clothes.