Spam for littleguyfrombrooklyn

[endsinafight]

Bucky'd been fidgety throughout the debriefing with Fury, even if he hadn't moved a muscle as he listened to the mission -- another HYDRA target, smaller, on a remote island in the Pacific. Not the usual setup, which made him uneasy from the get-go. But there was something else, something nagging at him, something in Fury's tone that told him there was more to this mission than he was willing to divulge. It wasn't a surprise. Fury might not be HYDRA, but in some ways his methods were so similar that it felt like being back there anyway. He definitely believed in the need to know principle, and obviously he didn't feel like they needed to know whatever it was he was holding back. His gaze darted to Steve, wondering if he'd picked up on it, too.

But if Steve had, his expression didn't betray his thoughts.

He pressed his lips together as they were dismissed, Fury addressing him as the others agents involved in the mission filtered out of the room. "Barnes. Hang back a minute."

And there it was, he thought, meeting Steve's eyes only briefly before lingering as Fury requested. One the door was shut again, the other man turned to study him.

"You have a different mission while they're disabling all of HYDRA's operating systems and containing the operatives."

Bucky studied him just as intently, his voice flat when he responded. "Who'm I eliminating?"

If Fury was surprised by his response, he gave nothing away. "Your target is Katya Belyakov."

"Who is she?" His voice was wary.

"You sure you wanna know the details, Barnes?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"If you're asking me to murder someone, yes," Bucky said, jaw tightening.

Fury regarded him for a long moment. "Essentially, she's the of the most dangerous people in the galaxy. Mind control abilities that she's utilized to force others to commit her dirty work. She's likely being accompanied by a former SHIELD operative who turned out to be moonlighting for HYDRA, Grant Ward. I'd prefer him to remain alive. He's got a lot to answer for."

Every muscle in Bucky's body tensed at the information about Belyakov, but also the name Grant Ward, his stomach turning in recognition.

"Ah. See you're familiar with him then."

"Unfortunately," Bucky responded stiffly, struggling to maintain his composure. "I'm assuming this isn't an optional mission." There was a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"You knew when you signed the dotted line that there's no such thing here, Barnes. Is there a problem? Or do I need to go over the fine print of your contract to refresh your memory?"

Fuck you, he thought. "No, Sir. Am I free to go?"

"You're dismissed."

--

An hour later, he was suited up in his tac gear, breathing steady and even despite the wild pounding of his heart as he boarded the quinjet with a team he didn't know or trust, and the only person on the earth he truly did.

Comments

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Wetness leaked from the corner of Steve’s eye, but he did his best to keep his voice calm. He dug his fingers into Bucky’s hair, trying to comfort.

“Okay,” he said. “Great. I never want to leave your side again. That’s a start. What else do you want? For you.”

[endsinafight]

"This can't just be about me," he murmured, resting his right hand over Steve's heart. "It shouldn't be. Not if we're gonna make this work."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve nodded. “Yeah,” he said, his voice soft. “You’re right. But we can’t compromise if I don’t know what you want, Buck.”

[endsinafight]

He was quiet for a long time, considering that carefully. "I don't wanna fight anymore. Not unless there's no other choice," he admitted. If it came down to it -- if one of the others was in trouble, or if aliens invaded, or there was another invasion of robots, he knew he'd gear up and do what he had to do because at the end of the day he couldn't live with himself if he hid out at the end of the world.

He wanted to be free to come and go as he pleased, without supervision, even if it was Steve's. He didn't want to keep feeling like a caged animal.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

“Okay,” Steve said immediately. “Sounds reasonable. Thank you for telling me.”

He thought for a long moment, tilting his head to press a kiss at the top of Bucky’s head.

“For now, I still need to fight. So we should find a place where I can fight and you can have some peace.”

It wasn’t quite right for Steve to say he wanted to fight—it didn’t feel exactly like a desire. But he knew with certainty that he wasn’t done taking revenge on the evil doers of the world.

[endsinafight]

Bucky kept his eyes closed, listening to the steady sound of Steve's heartbeat. He wasn't surprised by Steve's admission, even if it made him uneasy. He didn't want to fight, but he also didn't like the idea of Steve being out there without Bucky watching his back. "Natasha wants us to go on Ellen and tell the world our story so Fury doesn't try and make me vanish and doesn't expel the rest of you from the country."

He huffed.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Even though Steve knew he still wasn’t all that far from tears, he couldn’t help but smile.

“I have a guess about what you think of that idea,” he said. “But, honestly Buck. It makes sense to me. At least as part of the plan. Being a show pony has never been my favorite thing, but I’ve always been able to do what I do because people feel like they know me.”

His smile grew rueful. “They’re wrong about a lot of things, but they trust me. You’re scarier because you’re unknown. And—well. I told you this at Coney Island. Ain’t never going to bother me to talk about you being my fella.”

[endsinafight]

Bucky exhaled, the thought of going on national television after everything he'd done making his mouth go dry. It might end up being a necessary evil, especially if it meant SHIELD couldn't railroad him and force the others to leave their homes again. But it wasn't an idea he liked by any means.

"Yeah. I know you did," he murmured. But there were other factors to take into consideration, too. Like the fact that going on television would thrust him right into the center of attention, possibly HYDRA's all over again. It would definitely catch the attention of people like Tony Stark, who likely still wanted him dead, cease fire in place or not.

"Natasha definitely knows about us. Not sure if Sam thinks she's right or not, but...wouldn't surprise me."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve rubbed a soothing circle with his finger tips on the back of Bucky’s neck.

“You don’t like it, so we’ll look for other options and see what we can make work. We’re going to prioritize us being happy and like you said before, it’s not gonna be perfect. But we can try for the best we can do.”

After a moment, when Bucky talked about the others, Steve went red.

“Ah. Well,” he said, clearing his throat. “I ain’t a good liar, Buck. And before we even found you in Bucharest, he asked me right out if we were lovers. I said no. But then he asked me if I loved you like that. I didn’t say yes. But. I ain’t a good liar.”

And with that as background, it would be hard to imagine Sam interpreting what he’s seen anything other than correctly. Steve didn’t want to say this, especially since this was still fairly new between them, but he sometimes got the sense that Sam kept forgetting that he was supposed to pretend they weren’t obvious.

[endsinafight]

He relaxed at that assurance, humming quietly at the sensation of Steve's fingers against his skin. He didn't know if there was going to be a way around going public, but if there was, they'd find it. He believed that, so for the moment he let go of the worry about it.

Bucky could hear in Steve's voice even before he admitted to him about the conversation he'd had early on with Sam that Steve hadn't done anything to dissuade the others from thinking they'd been together. And truth be told, something about that made his chest feel warm. He lifted his head to look at him.

"You're right. You're a terrible liar," he agreed, one corner of his mouth tugging upwards.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Joy sparked in Steve’s chest, seeing the slight mischief on Bucky’s face, meeting his gorgeous blue-grey eyes. He probably looked smitten—which was appropriate, he felt smitten. "You make me worse than usual, sweetheart."

"At the time, I made sure to tell him that it wasn’t you, that you were my best friend but you didn’t me that way—but god, sweetheart, the truth of how I feel was written all over me. This century I think it’d be harder to hide, since they care way less about queer folks."

[endsinafight]

"That's why I was the one who had to do all the lyin' to our folks when we were in trouble growing up. I don't think you even knew what lying was til we met." He smirked. To be fair, he usually lied to keep them from getting into trouble over things that mostly wasn't their fault anyway.

"It's fine," he said, resting his chin on Steve's chest as he looked up at him. "Think I finally get why you like him so much."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

“It’s that angelic face of yours,” Steve said, dryly. “People can’t help get distracted by admiring you and then next thing you know, you’ve got them bamboozled. Me? My jaw just sets, my skin heats, and I’ve either confessed all our sins or told them to go fuck themselves.”

Steve played a little with Bucky’s hair, letting the soft strands run through his fingers. “Yeah?” he said. “I’m glad. It’d was a little worrisome that the love of my life didn’t like one of my best friends.”

[endsinafight]

That made him snort, rolling his eyes. "Angelic face my ass," he mumbled, shaking his head. But his lips were still turned upwards. "But you do have this tendency to blush when you try to lie. It's cute."

He watched Steve for a moment, considering. "I may have been jealous," he admitted finally. And by may, he meant he'd definitely been jealous.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

 Steve went pink. Maybe he shouldn’t at all legitimate the jealousy, but as previously discussed, he can’t lie for shit.

“I mean. I was flirting a little bit when I first met him,” Steve said, a touch playfully. “But he’s totally straight. Natasha is the one I’ve kissed.”

Unlike Bucky. With Natasha, they’ve kissed and it meant nothing. With Bucky, they haven’t, but every touch meant everything.

Steve gently ran his knuckles down Bucky’s cheek, his touch tender.

“They’re good friends. But I was only going through the motions of life until I knew you were alive again. I thought my life was essentially over. There will never be anyone like you, for me. Friend or love. You’re my soul, more or less.”

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

  Steve went pink. Maybe he shouldn’t at all legitimate the jealousy, but as previously discussed, he can’t lie for shit.

“I mean. I was flirting a little bit when I first met him,” Steve said, a touch playfully. “But he’s totally straight. Natasha is the one I’ve kissed.”

Unlike Bucky. With Natasha, they’ve kissed and it meant nothing. With Bucky, they haven’t, but every touch meant everything.

Steve gently ran his knuckles down Bucky’s cheek, his touch tender.

“They’re good friends. But I was only going through the motions of life until I knew you were alive again. I thought my life was essentially over. There will never be anyone like you, for me. Friend or love. You’re my soul, more or less.”

[endsinafight]

It wasn't really what he meant, but Bucky tucked that all away for another time and when Steve's knuckles grazed his cheek, his eyes fluttered shut almost involuntarily. He drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "You don't have to explain," Bucky said quietly. And he didn't. Steve didn't owe that to him, or to anyone else.

"Steve, we weren't together and as far as you knew, I was dead." He kept his voice as gentle as he could. But if honesty was what they were going for, then...

"But I more meant...when I was in Wakanda. Sam was the one that was with you all the time. I wasn't really thinking about the two of you being involved like that. Just...it was supposed to be me watching your six. You know?" He'd been best friend jealous.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve went a little pinker, embarrassed at the misunderstanding. Steve worried, sometimes, that he was more invested in the romantic turn to their friendship than Bucky was. It wasn’t that he had been hesitant or anything, but Steve had been the one throwing himself into at every turn. He tried to avoid dwelling on it at the moment—and, genuinely, he smiled at Bucky.

“I was jealous of T’Challa, and Shuri, and your goats. Shuri once sent me a picture of you napping under a tree, with a baby goat next to you, and I actually accidentally cracked my screen.”

His voice was a little rueful. “So yeah, I get it. But I meant everything I said. I know what it was like living without you and I’m just done doing it.”

[endsinafight]

It never occurred to him that Steve might have been jealous of his friends in Wakanda. Or of his goats. The thought made him smile a little and he kept his gaze on Steve's face, enjoying the closeness and just looking at him. He remembered doing the same thing on cold winter nights when he'd crawl into bed with Steve to help keep him warm.

"Because you were jealous of the goat?" There was just the barest hint of teasing there.

Bucky nodded, because though their experiences were very different when it came to living without one another, he understood. "We're better when we're together."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve smiled. “Yeah. I can’t allow myself to be jealous of a goat again, that’s just to embarrassing. Feel free to tease me about it forever, I accept that as appropriate.”

And honestly, no part of Steve would mind Bucky reminding himself that Steve valued him that much—even if it took the form of mockery.

There was a quiet knock at the door. Steve’s nose twitched. “I smell burgers, I think.”

[endsinafight]

"I mean to be fair, the baby goats were adorable," he said with the faintest of smiles. "But I do fully intend to tease you about it in the future to come." His eyes held that twinkle of mischief again, a far cry from the panicked state he'd been in that morning, or the shutdown state he tended to default to when he was on emotional overload.

He nodded slightly, reluctantly pushing himself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. "Come in," he called, glancing toward the door in anticipation.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve poured a little bit when Bucky got off of him, but he reached out and rested his uninjured hand on his hip, enjoying the easy touches.

The door opened and Monet’s little nose poked her way through. Her entire body was wagging in delight, even though she was too well behaved to tug. Wanda dropped the leash and she rushed to Bucky, so excited she finished the final approach crawling on her belly, wriggling with delight.

“And I have the burgers!” Clint said, holding up a huge bag of Five Guys. “I even threw in some fries.”

“Dibs on one!” Sam declared, trailing in after. His eyes landed on Bucky and Steve, studying them—before smiling softly. It was pretty obvious they had worked some stuff out.

[endsinafight]

He didn't protest the touch to his hip, despite the fact they had company once more. But his face lit up at the sight of Monet, and he laughed when she jumped up and put her paws on his thighs. "Hi, there," he whispered, picking her up even though she was starting to get too big for that. He didn't care, burying his face against her fur and letting her lick his cheek excitedly. "Good girl. I missed you, too." He glanced over his shoulder at Steve, arching his eyebrows. If he hadn't been injured, Bucky would have already let her go so she could pounce on him next.

Wanda smiled at the sight before her. She hadn't seen Bucky and Monet interact much, mostly because she tried to keep a respectful distance between herself and the older man when it was possible. She knew her powers unnerved him, and after she'd learned what he'd been through, she couldn't really blame him.

"Thanks," Bucky said, nodding at Clint in appreciation for the food.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Once Bucky had been thoroughly greeted, Monet turned her attention to Steve, wriggling in Bucky’s grip to try and get to him. Steve sat up, slowly—he couldn’t help but wince at how it jostled his hand. The pain there was throbbing, but he’d been doing well ignoring it and he aimed to continue.

He removed his hand from Bucky only to reach out and scratch the dog’s ears. “Hey, pretty girl. Nice to see ya.”

Steve looked over at Clint and tried to look pitiful. “Can I have the food please?”

The scent brought home that he really was starving. His body burned through calories like a wildfire when he was healing.

[endsinafight]

"Of course." Clint grinned at him, moving over to the bed and holding out the bag for Steve to take. "Got plenty of burgers. Charged it all to the Avengers account." He grabbed one of the burgers out for Sam and tossed it to him.

Bucky's right hand remained buried in Monet's fur as he watched Steve pull the food out to eat. He leaned against the railing of the bed, glancing over at Steve's friend's once more. "Thanks for bringing her. And the food." He shifted his gaze to Sam. "And for standing guard."