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[endsinafight]

Bucky'd been fidgety throughout the debriefing with Fury, even if he hadn't moved a muscle as he listened to the mission -- another HYDRA target, smaller, on a remote island in the Pacific. Not the usual setup, which made him uneasy from the get-go. But there was something else, something nagging at him, something in Fury's tone that told him there was more to this mission than he was willing to divulge. It wasn't a surprise. Fury might not be HYDRA, but in some ways his methods were so similar that it felt like being back there anyway. He definitely believed in the need to know principle, and obviously he didn't feel like they needed to know whatever it was he was holding back. His gaze darted to Steve, wondering if he'd picked up on it, too.

But if Steve had, his expression didn't betray his thoughts.

He pressed his lips together as they were dismissed, Fury addressing him as the others agents involved in the mission filtered out of the room. "Barnes. Hang back a minute."

And there it was, he thought, meeting Steve's eyes only briefly before lingering as Fury requested. One the door was shut again, the other man turned to study him.

"You have a different mission while they're disabling all of HYDRA's operating systems and containing the operatives."

Bucky studied him just as intently, his voice flat when he responded. "Who'm I eliminating?"

If Fury was surprised by his response, he gave nothing away. "Your target is Katya Belyakov."

"Who is she?" His voice was wary.

"You sure you wanna know the details, Barnes?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"If you're asking me to murder someone, yes," Bucky said, jaw tightening.

Fury regarded him for a long moment. "Essentially, she's the of the most dangerous people in the galaxy. Mind control abilities that she's utilized to force others to commit her dirty work. She's likely being accompanied by a former SHIELD operative who turned out to be moonlighting for HYDRA, Grant Ward. I'd prefer him to remain alive. He's got a lot to answer for."

Every muscle in Bucky's body tensed at the information about Belyakov, but also the name Grant Ward, his stomach turning in recognition.

"Ah. See you're familiar with him then."

"Unfortunately," Bucky responded stiffly, struggling to maintain his composure. "I'm assuming this isn't an optional mission." There was a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"You knew when you signed the dotted line that there's no such thing here, Barnes. Is there a problem? Or do I need to go over the fine print of your contract to refresh your memory?"

Fuck you, he thought. "No, Sir. Am I free to go?"

"You're dismissed."

--

An hour later, he was suited up in his tac gear, breathing steady and even despite the wild pounding of his heart as he boarded the quinjet with a team he didn't know or trust, and the only person on the earth he truly did.

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[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Once they were done, Steve fussed with his phone long enough to call an uber.

"C'mon," he said, leaving the room and giving Bucky a cue to follow by tugging on his shirt. Steve didn't talk, not in front of these people (a lot of whom who were unsubtly taking cell-phone pics, even though it was ass-o-clock in the morning at a hospital. People had no shame.) He did keep casting long, lingering looks at Bucky, considering.

He was thinking about a lot of things--playing over that moment of "sir" in his mind was one of them, but it wasn't the only one. It was twisted up with how beautiful Bucky had been, resting his head on Steve's thigh.

When the uber arrived, Steve opened the car door for Bucky, before circling around the other side to get in himself.

[endsinafight]

Bucky followed, shouldering the duffel bag that Natasha had brought Steve's clothes in and carrying it down the hallway, barely resisting the urge to glare at the people taking pictures of Steve. Assholes.

He noticed the considering looks that Steve kept sending him and he tried to ignore the nervousness he felt over it. He knew that what had happened between them wasn't normal -- especially not for them, and he knew Steve was just as confused by it as he was. He wondered if he'd blown it entirely, ruined the only good part of his life. Monet trailed along beside him, keeping herself carefully positioned between him and anyone else passing by, the way she always did when they were out for a walk with her.

Bucky paused, a bit thrown by Steve opening the car door for him before urging Monet inside quietly and then sliding into the seat, chewing his lower lip as the ride back to their apartment began.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

He could sense Bucky's ever-increasing nerves and worried about it. HE hoped Bucky wasn't regretting the choices he'd made. In the uber, Steve was grateful he went to the side of the car he did, because he could reach out and take Bucky's flesh hand in his own, gently run his thumb against his skin.

They didn't talk much. Steve was well-aware of the driver.

He did sigh happily, though, as they pulled up to their apartment building and send Bucky a smile. "It's good to be back."

[endsinafight]

Bucky was consciously aware of Steve's hand, large and warm, wrapped around his own, and he let himself focus on that for the duration of the ride, and the way that Monet curled up against his side even as she stared out the window to his left. He let his eyes close even as the driver took them home, blinking a few times when Steve spoke suddenly.

"Yeah," he agreed quietly, squeezing his hand lightly before pulling away and reaching out to open his car door. He was looking forward to taking a long, hot shower and changing into different clothes. He held onto Monet's collar just to make sure she didn't get out into oncoming traffic.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve let Bucky unlock the door to their apartment, not wanting to fuss with it one handed. He gave Bucky a long, considering look—realizing, of course, that he was still in his uniform pants.

"I’ll make us some breakfast if you want to get a shower?" Steve said, gently.

[endsinafight]

"You should be resting," Bucky responded with a frown. "I'll take a quick shower and fix us something when I'm done. All right?" Besides, cooking one-handed was a lot more difficult than it sounded.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Bucky's proposal at first made Steve frown, but then he thought about it -- it would be nice to get into his own bed. And he wasn't really sure how he could manage to cook much with one hand.

He sighed and shook his head. "I hate being hurt. But you're right. I'll go lay down. Make sure you don't leave me alone too, long."

His voice was a little more light and teasing toward the end there. He didn't want to sulk too much and make Bucky feel bad.

[endsinafight]

For a moment, Bucky was certain Steve was about to argue and when he didn't, his eyebrows rose with surprise. Huh. "I know, Pal," he assured him, squeezing his shoulder and then turning him toward the hallway. "What are you feeling like food-wise? Omelettes? Pancakes and bacon?" he questioned, guiding him down the hall toward his bedroom, Monet trotting behind them.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve hummed a little, thinking about it. "What do you feel like?" he asked, finally. He recalled that Bucky had barely eaten anything at all, last night.

Once they got to the bedroom, Steve reached for his own buttons with his good hand, kicking off the slip-on shoes he was wearing. After undoing the first one, though, he paused and smiled at Bucky, letting his hand fall away.

"Can you help me get my shirt off, sweetheart?"

[endsinafight]

"I could do with an omelette," he admitted, figuring the protein would be good for both of them. He'd have to see what they had in the fridge, but he was pretty sure there were peppers, and cheese and ham he could add to it.

He paused in the doorway of Steve's bedroom, watching as Steve kicked his shoes off and reached for the top button on his shirt, undoing it. He held his breath at the request, then nodded silently, crossing the room to where Steve stood and reaching up to begin undoing the other buttons, heart beating fast in his chest.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve's heart rate kicked up as well, when Bucky immediately followed his instructions. He gently skimmed his good hand down Bucky's waist, settling it on his hip, as Bucky carefully undid his buttons.

He had been being so careful not to flirt too hard, push too much. He hadn't wanted to make Bucky uncomfortable. But every request he made, Bucky responded, so sweetly and eagerly.

Well. He hoped it was eagerness.

At the thought, he decided to ask, keeping the tone of his voice flirtatious and low. "Do you like when I ask you to do things for me, Bucky? You're very good at it."

[endsinafight]

He reached the last button and let his hands fall to his sides, listening to the sound of Steve's heart beating -- just as quickly as his own.

But his fingers itched to touch the bare skin in front of him in a way they never had with anyone else before. He drew in a slow breath, obviously affected by the question, but even more so by the praise. It wasn't deserved; he'd done nothing to earn it. Helping Steve unbutton his shirt was far from a difficult task.

His gaze flickered to meet Steve's eyes, licking his lips unconsciously before giving a slight, short nod. "Yes," he admitted, voice barely audible.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

"Thank you," Steve murmured when the shirt fell open. He let it hang off his shoulders, leaning in a little closer to Bucky now that Bucky didn't need space to work.

"Thank you for being honest with me, too. I like when you do things for me, too," he said. His voice was low.

He considered pushing it, but he didn't think it felt right--so he just leaned in and pressed a kiss to Bucky's forehead before backing off, snagging his own phone with his good hand and laying on the bed, stretching out.

"Let me know when breakfast is done?" he said, hopefully, still watching Bucky with a heavy gaze.

[endsinafight]

His gaze swept slowly over Steve's body, sinking his teeth into his lower lip at the other's admission. "Is that -- new? For you?" he asked, unable to stop himself. He was almost sure that he remembered Steve hating when he did things for him back in their younger days. He also knew that a whole lot had changed since then, if he was remembering things correctly at all.

Bucky closed his eyes when he felt Steve's lips press against his forehead and right then he wanted nothing more than to crawl into his arms and press into his warmth.

"Yeah. I will. I won't be long," he said after a moment.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve's face was a little rueful and his cheeks went pink.

"Well, right now you're doing what I ask you to," Steve said. "You're, uh. Listening to my orders. That's something I like a lot."

He licked his lips and settled back into the pillows. "And you doing things for me is made impossibly better when you're looking at me like that, with eyes like that."

Not to mention, of course, now he was big and buff and could easily take care of himself. He could take care of Bucky, too. Giving the other man orders to do things felt like a reversal of their old power dynamics.

[endsinafight]

Bucky inhaled at that, eyes darkening a little as he turned those words over in his head, staring at where Steve lay stretched out across the bed, looking far, far too perfect to be real. He wondered, idly, if he was having some kind of hallucination and that he was going to wake up from cryo, dragged out of there by guards who would force him into the chair and fry his brain.

He forced himself to focus on Steve's voice, on the words he was saying.

"Always liked taking care of you," he admitted so, so softly. "Always wanted to be doin' whatever you were. Be wherever you were." He suspected Steve knew that, but he needed to say it anyway. He looked down for a moment, wondering if that was part of how HYDRA had gotten him under their control, manipulating his vulnerability and molding him into the perfect soldier.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve really liked how Bucky was staring at him on the bed. He got stared at a lot, now, but it felt really different when it was Bucky, in their bedroom. It made him feel powerful, whereas strangers usually just made him feel vulnerable.

"Yeah?" Steve said, softly. He let his chest unfold, stretching a little -- knowing that his muscles would be moving under his skin. He even let his thighs spread a little and let his good hand settle on his own thigh. It was well away from his dick, but clearly evocative.

"I always want to be where you are, too," Steve said. "I'm never going to let you out of my sight again."

It was a vow, a promise. Steve's voice was intense and he stared at Bucky with something close to hunger in his eyes. He considered it a real failure that he ever gave up on Bucky, when he fell off the train. It'd never happen again.

[endsinafight]

He almost groaned when Steve shifted, stretching out and spreading his legs a little wider, hand settling on his thigh in a way that was just this side of seductive. He knew Steve meant for it to be tantalizing, and it damn sure worked. It was a struggle to stay where he was standing and not move closer, a struggle to remind himself he needed a shower and to fix them food.

The intensity in Steve's voice and in his gaze though, was too much for him to handle and he moved slowly closer to the bed, drawn toward Steve like a moth to the flame, and okay with the idea of burning if it meant getting to see this side of Steve that he'd never been privy to before.

"What do you want right now?" he asked, voice husky.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve licked his lips and let his eyes drag down Bucky's body. The huskiness of his voice got Steve's blood pumping, made heat zing underneath his skin.

It took him a moment to remember his better angels--probably only possible because he was starting to be on the edge of uncomfortably hungry and he felt like he had some Googling to do before he let this get too far.

"I want you to make yourself feel good," Steve said. "I want you to take care of yourself. Which right now means that I want you to get in the shower, get yourself nice and clean and comfortable, and then fix us both some food. And then I want you to bring it back to me in bed and get in here with me. Does that sound good?"

[endsinafight]

For a moment, he was sure that Steve was going to ask him to get into bed with him, but he didn't. Bucky chewed his lower lip for a moment, considering and then nodding his agreement. He did need a shower, and they were both hungry.

"Yeah," he agreed with a faint smile. "Okay." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll be back soon." He headed for the door, skin feeling warm and itchy all over and he suddenly couldn't wait to get into the shower. He stripped out of his clothes once he was in the bathroom, tossing them into the hamper and climbing into the shower, turning on the warm water and stepping under the spray. He scrubbed at his skin, trying to ignore the fact that his dick was limp and heavy between his legs. All things considered, he knew that wasn't the way it was supposed to be. Not when he had all the other feelings that he was pretty sure went along with arousal.

He'd tried more than once over the last couple of years to fix this part of himself to no avail, and before maybe it just hadn't mattered that much. It mattered now, though. And he still didn't know how to fix it.

He finished his shower and dressed in clean clothes -- sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt, his standard these days -- and moved to the kitchen, fixing them each a huge plate full of food before carrying them back toward the bedroom. "Hope you're ready to eat."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve hadn’t slept any. He hadn’t really rested. When Bucky left to go get in the shower, he narrowly resisted touching himself. He was mostly hard between his own legs, enough that it looked almost obscene through the soft cotton of the sweatpants. That problem wasn’t helped by his attempt to google things like “following orders sex” and “sir sex” and the like. It was a whole new world and while a lot of it was well past something that he was interested in, there were more than a few things that sent vivid, attractive pictures through his own mind.

When he smelled the food finishing up, his stomach growled and he shifted, putting his phone down. His chinks were pink and he pulled himself up to sit cross-legged on the bed, with a pillow in his lap.

“Starving,” he said, honesty. “Delighted to get breakfast in bed.”

[endsinafight]

Bucky smiled a little at that, because with the rush of adrenaline yesterday, he hadn't eaten anything, hadn't wanted to eat anything, but now he was famished and eager to dig into the food. He noted that Steve had a pillow over his lap and the faintest of smirks touched his mouth as he set the other's food down atop it. "Be careful, it's still really hot."

He sat down beside him on the edge of the bed, balancing his own plate carefully on his knees and taking a bite of the food, closing his eyes and resting his head back against the headboard.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve caught the whisper of a smirk on Bucky’s face and flushed a little redder. He took a too quick bite of his food and had to swallow it fast because it was too hot. He huffed and blew on the next bite.

“This tastes amazing,” he said, sincerely. “It’s probably good that it is too hot or I’d be tempted to unhinge my jaw like a python and swallow it down whole.

After a moment he said, “How are you feeling? Was the shower nice?”

[endsinafight]

"Remind me to fix all of our food too hot from now on, just in case," he responded wryly. That was a hell of a disturbing mental image.

He was quiet for a second, then he nodded, glancing at him sideways. "Was better than the quick one I had to take at the hospital yesterday," he told him.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve reached out with his good hand and gently touched Bucky’s knee.

“I’m glad,” he said. “Thank you for being there for me. But I’m glad we are home.”