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[endsinafight]

Bucky'd been fidgety throughout the debriefing with Fury, even if he hadn't moved a muscle as he listened to the mission -- another HYDRA target, smaller, on a remote island in the Pacific. Not the usual setup, which made him uneasy from the get-go. But there was something else, something nagging at him, something in Fury's tone that told him there was more to this mission than he was willing to divulge. It wasn't a surprise. Fury might not be HYDRA, but in some ways his methods were so similar that it felt like being back there anyway. He definitely believed in the need to know principle, and obviously he didn't feel like they needed to know whatever it was he was holding back. His gaze darted to Steve, wondering if he'd picked up on it, too.

But if Steve had, his expression didn't betray his thoughts.

He pressed his lips together as they were dismissed, Fury addressing him as the others agents involved in the mission filtered out of the room. "Barnes. Hang back a minute."

And there it was, he thought, meeting Steve's eyes only briefly before lingering as Fury requested. One the door was shut again, the other man turned to study him.

"You have a different mission while they're disabling all of HYDRA's operating systems and containing the operatives."

Bucky studied him just as intently, his voice flat when he responded. "Who'm I eliminating?"

If Fury was surprised by his response, he gave nothing away. "Your target is Katya Belyakov."

"Who is she?" His voice was wary.

"You sure you wanna know the details, Barnes?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"If you're asking me to murder someone, yes," Bucky said, jaw tightening.

Fury regarded him for a long moment. "Essentially, she's the of the most dangerous people in the galaxy. Mind control abilities that she's utilized to force others to commit her dirty work. She's likely being accompanied by a former SHIELD operative who turned out to be moonlighting for HYDRA, Grant Ward. I'd prefer him to remain alive. He's got a lot to answer for."

Every muscle in Bucky's body tensed at the information about Belyakov, but also the name Grant Ward, his stomach turning in recognition.

"Ah. See you're familiar with him then."

"Unfortunately," Bucky responded stiffly, struggling to maintain his composure. "I'm assuming this isn't an optional mission." There was a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"You knew when you signed the dotted line that there's no such thing here, Barnes. Is there a problem? Or do I need to go over the fine print of your contract to refresh your memory?"

Fuck you, he thought. "No, Sir. Am I free to go?"

"You're dismissed."

--

An hour later, he was suited up in his tac gear, breathing steady and even despite the wild pounding of his heart as he boarded the quinjet with a team he didn't know or trust, and the only person on the earth he truly did.

Comments

[endsinafight]

He offered Steve a wan smile, though his chest tightened at the sight of his obvious frustration and remorse. He watched quietly as Monet showered him in doggie kisses and he reached out, resting a hand on Steve's shoulder. "We don't know for sure it'll happen." And yes, he was worried, but Fury was going to do whatever he wanted to do, and as awful as it was to contemplate, there was a certain amount of freedom in admitting he had zero control over things at this point.

"And I have good things. I have you and I have Monet, and that's more than some people get in a lifetime."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve blinked hard, pushing back any tears viciously. He was almost tempted to shake off Bucky’s hand. He refused to let Bucky comfort him over this. That was just insult to injury. If Bucky was calm, Steve was calm. Monet’s kisses were helpful, even if they smelled like dog food.

He looked up at Bucky, once he got himself together. "Do you want to just go to Wakanda right now?"

[endsinafight]

Bucky met his gaze and was sorely tempted to say yes. Because it would be so much easier to fuck off to Wakanda, to herd goats and play with the children there without having to look over his shoulder every minute of every day, worried about who was coming for him.

But it wouldn't be right. And it wouldn't be fair. And what he stood to lose if he ran away again was far too great for him to risk.

He used to get frustrated with Steve for refusing to runaway from a fight. But he was starting to understand why he'd always held his ground, even when the beating hurt. He squared his shoulders and lifted his chin, shaking his head. "If I run now, he wins. They all win," he said quietly. "And I'm tired of bullies winning."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve looked up at Bucky and was filled with abiding love. It was an earthquake kinda love, from deep within himself and shaking his world to pieces, completely inexorable and bone-rattling. He blinked a couple times, hard, and stood up. He used his good hand to clasp Bucky on the shoulder, right at the beginning of his neck, and gently rubbed his thumb for a moment on his skin.

"You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met," Steve said, quietly. Sincerely. "I know it makes you uncomfortable when I say things like that, but it’s true. I’m going to do everything in my power fo help you."

[endsinafight]

Bucky held his gaze, leaning into Steve's touch instinctively, feeling the tightness in his chest loosen a little. Knowing Steve would be there no matter what happened, that he wouldn't have to face things alone, was a weight off his shoulders. The sincerity in his voice, though, made him swallow hard, dropping his gaze to the sidewalk momentarily.

"I know," he admitted. "And knowing you're here, that you're in my corner...that's why I know I can do this. Whatever way it goes."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve squeezed his shoulder again and then he had to look away from Bucky before he ended up kissing him in front of all of Brooklyn.

“Donuts?” he said. “I hear I owe you some.”

[endsinafight]

"Donuts," he agreed quietly, nodding and reaching up to squeeze Steve's arm, light and affectionate.