Spam for littleguyfrombrooklyn

[endsinafight]

Bucky'd been fidgety throughout the debriefing with Fury, even if he hadn't moved a muscle as he listened to the mission -- another HYDRA target, smaller, on a remote island in the Pacific. Not the usual setup, which made him uneasy from the get-go. But there was something else, something nagging at him, something in Fury's tone that told him there was more to this mission than he was willing to divulge. It wasn't a surprise. Fury might not be HYDRA, but in some ways his methods were so similar that it felt like being back there anyway. He definitely believed in the need to know principle, and obviously he didn't feel like they needed to know whatever it was he was holding back. His gaze darted to Steve, wondering if he'd picked up on it, too.

But if Steve had, his expression didn't betray his thoughts.

He pressed his lips together as they were dismissed, Fury addressing him as the others agents involved in the mission filtered out of the room. "Barnes. Hang back a minute."

And there it was, he thought, meeting Steve's eyes only briefly before lingering as Fury requested. One the door was shut again, the other man turned to study him.

"You have a different mission while they're disabling all of HYDRA's operating systems and containing the operatives."

Bucky studied him just as intently, his voice flat when he responded. "Who'm I eliminating?"

If Fury was surprised by his response, he gave nothing away. "Your target is Katya Belyakov."

"Who is she?" His voice was wary.

"You sure you wanna know the details, Barnes?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"If you're asking me to murder someone, yes," Bucky said, jaw tightening.

Fury regarded him for a long moment. "Essentially, she's the of the most dangerous people in the galaxy. Mind control abilities that she's utilized to force others to commit her dirty work. She's likely being accompanied by a former SHIELD operative who turned out to be moonlighting for HYDRA, Grant Ward. I'd prefer him to remain alive. He's got a lot to answer for."

Every muscle in Bucky's body tensed at the information about Belyakov, but also the name Grant Ward, his stomach turning in recognition.

"Ah. See you're familiar with him then."

"Unfortunately," Bucky responded stiffly, struggling to maintain his composure. "I'm assuming this isn't an optional mission." There was a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"You knew when you signed the dotted line that there's no such thing here, Barnes. Is there a problem? Or do I need to go over the fine print of your contract to refresh your memory?"

Fuck you, he thought. "No, Sir. Am I free to go?"

"You're dismissed."

--

An hour later, he was suited up in his tac gear, breathing steady and even despite the wild pounding of his heart as he boarded the quinjet with a team he didn't know or trust, and the only person on the earth he truly did.

Comments

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve squinted, taking the question literally. His memory wasn’t up to the task of trying to figure out exactly when he’d last looked in a mirror. After a few moments he gave up and smiled at Bucky again.

“Doesn’t matter. Nobody’s prettier than you. Could get any dame you wanted. But you like my face.”

[endsinafight]

He ducked his head momentarily, not sure what to do with the compliments. He never did know how to react or respond to them these days. He had vague memories of living for that sort of praise when they were younger.

"Yeah, well. I've always liked your face," he said quietly, looking back at Steve, his own eyes a slightly darker shade of blue-gray than usual.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve squeezed Bucky’s hand.

“I’ve always liked yours, too,” he said, a little shy. “We’re a pair of dopes, huh? Took us forever.”

[endsinafight]

"Times weren't always easy. Probably for the best if we're being realistic." He scooted the chair a little closer, right up against Steve's hospital bed, to relieve a bit of the strain on his shoulders and back from leaning forward. It was something he'd thought about a million times, and something he wished he never thought about at all. Because the only thing worse than everything happening the way it had would have been if they'd actually been together when it all started.

He still didn't actually remember the fall from the train other than a split second - Steve screaming his name. He didn't remember the immediate events that led up to it and he wasn't sure he wanted to. The brain was an odd thing, he supposed.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

When Bucky started shifting around, Steve brightened and shuffled a little away from him on the hospital bed, trying to make space for Bucky to join him. He was already moving a little better under his own power than he had just a few minutes before.

“C’mon up,” he said. “I rest easier with you.”

But when Bucky said it was for the best, he frowned. “I don’t believe that. I’d’ve made any sacrifice for just a few more minutes of loving you. I want it to be forever.”

[endsinafight]

Bucky hesitated at that. There wasn't that much room and they were both big guys. But he also knew that Steve was sincere with that because they hadn't slept alone in weeks now and they both got more rest with the reassurance of the other right beside them. He nodded, very carefully easing himself down on his left side, back pressed up against the bed railing, digging into his spine, but he didn't care. He was careful not to jostle the IV line in Steve's hand as he settled himself there.

His chest tightened and grew warm with a flood of bittersweet emotion at his words. It hadn't worked out that way for them, and he didn't know what the future had in store, either. "Okay, I'm here. You need to rest, Stevie."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

It was a very tight fight, but Steve felt the length of Bucky’s body like sinking into a warm bath. He sighed, a slow deflating of air, and shifted around a little so he could rest his head on Bucky’s chest, underneath his arm.

“You’ve convinced me,” he said, a little groggy. “Best pillow. I love you.”

He pressed a soft kiss over the fabric of Bucky’s t-shirt. The drugs had made him feel more free with these little physical markers of affection.

[endsinafight]

Bucky watched as Steve rearranged himself, finally moving to rest his head on Bucky's chest. It was usually the other way around, at least in this century, but the position felt familiar to him nonetheless. He hesitantly moved his right hand up to card through Steve's hair, breath hitching at the seemingly easy declaration. He rested his head down on the pillow, swallowing a few times before managing to echo the sentiment. "Love you, too," he whispered.

"Sleep."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve murmured something that might have intended to be a sentence, but just came out as a garbled bit of warmth, smothered by drugs and sleep and pain. He rubbed his cheek against Bucky’s chest, like a cat, and buried his smile in his chest. He was out in moments, snoring lightly.

[endsinafight]

When Steve drifted to sleep, Bucky followed soon after, however unintentionally. He'd hit his limit for the day, apparently. It was a couple hours later when he woke up, body stiff and uncomfortable from his squished position in the bed, but he didn't dare move and wake Steve. The guy needed all the rest he could get so he could heal faster.

His hand was still cupped around the back of the other's neck and for a long time he simply laid there, unmoving, listening to the quiet sound of his breathing. Involuntarily, his gaze dropped to Steve's bandaged hand and his chest tightened a little. The fact that he still had it was a good sign. A great sign, even. It was one more thing to add to his list of regrets, though, because if he'd just followed Fury's order to begin with, Steve wouldn't have even been injured. An inaudible sigh escaped him.

Right. Fury. Still had to figure out how to deal with that.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve woke up, all at once. Maybe it was some minute twitch of Bucky’s or just the serum having worked through the anesthesia, but one moment he was asleep and the next he was awake.

He blinked, aware first that he was on top of Bucky. It was only after a moment of smiling about that the pain in his hand hit him like a truck.

“Ahh, fuck,” he said under his breath. He tried to sit up, looking at his hand and twisting the hand a little to see what he could feel. Nothing but pain, really.

[endsinafight]

Bucky let him sit up, grimacing at the obvious pain that he was in, and he reached out, pressing the nurse call button on the bed. "Slow, deep breaths," he said softly. He couldn't take Steve's pain for him -- if he could, he would -- but he could try and help him through it. He had some experience in that area, after all. "Try not to move it. It'll make it worse." He also knew that it was almost impossible to follow that directive, because when you were in pain there was this strange desire to see what made it worse, like poking your tongue where a tooth used to be.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve took a deep breath and tried to push out the pain with his air. It was only moderately successful.

He shifted on the bed to look at Bucky and squinted at him. He could feel that he probably looked terrible, drawn and pale, but Bucky didn’t look much better.

“How’re you?” Steve said, slurring a little. “Talk to anybody?”

[endsinafight]

"I'm fine," he said automatically, searching Steve's tired eyes. "Don't worry about the rest right now. We got time to figure it out." Probably. He had his doubts that Fury would sink so low as to try and snatch him right out of Steve's hospital room while the other man was recovering. He glanced over his shoulder.

"Nurse is gonna be on the way in." He reached out with hesitance, smoothing some of Steve's hair back and off his face. "Sam and Natasha are waiting to see you, too." He felt like a bit of an asshole for hogging all the visiting hours time to himself when he knew they were waiting to see him, too. He dropped his hand away, and sat up slowly, stretching as best he could.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

“They can come in,” Steve said, easy. “But stay? Please. I want you near me.”

Steve liked seeing Bucky, liked getting to see his face—but he was also responding to the palpable thrum of anxiety Bucky had betrayed about Fury, about the mission, about everything. He wanted his eyes on Bucky at all times, in case the universe tried to bullshit him again.

The nurse from before came in. She didn’t react in any way to their uneven perch on the bed or the cuddling that was going on.

“Hi, Captain Rogers,” she said, cheerfully. “Now that you’re up, feeling up to being transferred to a normal hospital room? I think you’ll be able to talk the docs into letting you go tomorrow, but you won’t escape our clutches tonight.”

“Are they familiar with the serum?” he said, hopefully. “I heal very fast.”

“Yep,” she said, popping the p. “If it was me, I’d be here four days, so count your blessings.”

[endsinafight]

Bucky scraped his teeth over his lower lip, nodding his agreement at that. "I'll let 'em know and come right back." He moved his right hand around to his back, pressing on it and popping it loudly as the nurse came back in. He held his breath, not sure what to expect when she spotted him there on the bed, the indent very telling of how he'd been recently positioned.

"He's in a lot of pain," he told her even as he reluctantly rose to his feet, turning to glance at Steve with raised eyebrows. "And you, don't argue. If they say you need to stay til tomorrow, that's what we're doing." He gave him a knowing look.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

“My pain is maybe a four out of ten. Maybe. Probably a three,” Steve grumbled.

He followed Bucky with his eyes, a little anxious about the idea of him leaving.

“You guys can meet us in Captain Rogers’s actual hospital room,” she said, giving Bucky the location. “I just need to wheel him up.”

“I can—“

“No,” the nurse said, smile not wavering. “You’re staying in that bed and I’m pushing you.”

[endsinafight]

"An easy six out of ten, given your reaction when you woke up," Bucky corrected him, looking completely unimpressed by his grumbling. The familiarity of this had him feeling more than a tad nostalgic for their days of their youth. He paused at the door, nodding at her words. "Thank you. I'll see you up there."

He shot Steve a warning look. "Behave yourself, Steven." He glanced back at the nurse. "He gives you any trouble, you let me know." And he made a mental note to grab her a cup of coffee on the way up to the room.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

“I’m a grown-ass superhero,” Steve said, quoting Sam when Sam was telling him to be less of a mess. He absolutely wasn’t whining.

“I will absolutely tattle,” the nurse said to Steve. “And it seems Mr. Barnes has your number.”

Steve scowled, but he forced his typical grumpiness down a moment to call out once more for Bucky.

“Buck. Be fast. Please.”

[endsinafight]

It was a struggle to contain the grin that wanted to break loose at the whining by said grown-ass superhero in the bed. If Steve folded his arms across his chest and stuck out his lower lip in an actual pout, Bucky wouldn't have been surprised. Amused, but not surprised.

He winked at the nurse before turning toward the door, pausing at the hint of anxiety in his best friend's voice. He glanced back at him, giving a quick nod, expression softening slightly.

"You'll barely notice my absence."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve really didn’t want Bucky to go, but there was something wonderful about watching him grin at Steve’s whining and wink at the nurse and genuinely be more lighthearted. Maybe Steve just had to lean in to the bad patient energy.

“Okay,” he said, mildly. He sent Bucky a look, where he thought about how much he loved him and he hoped the man could read it on his face.

The nurse got him ready for transport and pushed him to the other room, waving goodbye to Bucky cheerfully as she went.

[endsinafight]

Bucky rubbed a hand over his face as he headed down the hallway toward the waiting room, holding his breath at the sight of the room that was now overflowing with the team they'd gone on the mission with, Natasha, Sam, and now also Wanda and Clint. He looked around, then scratched the back of his neck, feeling horribly out of his element.

"They're movin' him to a regular room. Probably release him sometime tomorrow," he said, and Wanda closed her eyes in obvious relief. "He's still a little out of it from the drugs and they'll probably be givin' him some more soon. But uh, I think he's up for visitors if a couple of ya wanna see him."

"You two have been here longer," Clint said amicably, nodding at Nat and Sam.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Sam turned to the others, including the rest of the team.

“I’ll pass along y’all’s best wishes, if you want to head home. Sounds like he’s through the woods,” he said. He couldn’t imagine that Steve particularly wanted the see the whole troupe. Wanda and Clint would probably be welcome, but the rest of the guys were colleagues at best.

Sam also took a moment to study Bucky. He looked marginally more relaxed. It was good he got some time alone with Steve.

[endsinafight]

The rest of the team began nodding and rising to their feet, murmuring their relief that Cap was going to be all right. They filtered out of the room and down the corridor toward the exit, leaving Bucky alone with the remaining Avengers.

"I'll take you to him," he said, nodding his head at Clint and Wanda to acknowledge their arrival. He shifted his gaze to Natasha and Sam, holding his breath for a few seconds. "He just woke up. Haven't really had a chance to talk to him about anything. Probably oughtta wait a bit for that." Because frankly Steve's recovery was more important to him than the rest at the moment. He turned and headed back toward the elevator, pressing the button to take them upstairs to where the nurse had let him know she'd be taking him.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Natasha nodded simply. It had not passed her by that Bucky’s accent was stronger and even though he seemed tired, he was speaking more fluidly than he had been. Frankly, she thought it was healthy that he was focusing on Steve’s recovery above anything else.

“Lead the way, JB,” Sam said. He had the urge to clap him on the shoulder, but he resisted. “I bet he was glad to see your face, huh?”

They both trailed after him as he lead them to Steve’s room.

Steve, when he saw them, smiled—only a little tightness around his eyes.

“Aww, you guys didn’t have to come all the way out here, I’m fine. They said it’s only a formality that they’re keeping me,” he said.