Spam for littleguyfrombrooklyn

[endsinafight]

Bucky'd been fidgety throughout the debriefing with Fury, even if he hadn't moved a muscle as he listened to the mission -- another HYDRA target, smaller, on a remote island in the Pacific. Not the usual setup, which made him uneasy from the get-go. But there was something else, something nagging at him, something in Fury's tone that told him there was more to this mission than he was willing to divulge. It wasn't a surprise. Fury might not be HYDRA, but in some ways his methods were so similar that it felt like being back there anyway. He definitely believed in the need to know principle, and obviously he didn't feel like they needed to know whatever it was he was holding back. His gaze darted to Steve, wondering if he'd picked up on it, too.

But if Steve had, his expression didn't betray his thoughts.

He pressed his lips together as they were dismissed, Fury addressing him as the others agents involved in the mission filtered out of the room. "Barnes. Hang back a minute."

And there it was, he thought, meeting Steve's eyes only briefly before lingering as Fury requested. One the door was shut again, the other man turned to study him.

"You have a different mission while they're disabling all of HYDRA's operating systems and containing the operatives."

Bucky studied him just as intently, his voice flat when he responded. "Who'm I eliminating?"

If Fury was surprised by his response, he gave nothing away. "Your target is Katya Belyakov."

"Who is she?" His voice was wary.

"You sure you wanna know the details, Barnes?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"If you're asking me to murder someone, yes," Bucky said, jaw tightening.

Fury regarded him for a long moment. "Essentially, she's the of the most dangerous people in the galaxy. Mind control abilities that she's utilized to force others to commit her dirty work. She's likely being accompanied by a former SHIELD operative who turned out to be moonlighting for HYDRA, Grant Ward. I'd prefer him to remain alive. He's got a lot to answer for."

Every muscle in Bucky's body tensed at the information about Belyakov, but also the name Grant Ward, his stomach turning in recognition.

"Ah. See you're familiar with him then."

"Unfortunately," Bucky responded stiffly, struggling to maintain his composure. "I'm assuming this isn't an optional mission." There was a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"You knew when you signed the dotted line that there's no such thing here, Barnes. Is there a problem? Or do I need to go over the fine print of your contract to refresh your memory?"

Fuck you, he thought. "No, Sir. Am I free to go?"

"You're dismissed."

--

An hour later, he was suited up in his tac gear, breathing steady and even despite the wild pounding of his heart as he boarded the quinjet with a team he didn't know or trust, and the only person on the earth he truly did.

Comments

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve has gotten better at concealing his emotions, but this was testing him. His eyes were blazing and his jaw was tight. It was all he could do to keep his gaze down and fixed on an empty point on the quinjet floor.

If this target was so bad that Bucky thought they actually deserved assassinating, fine. He could handle that. His style was less subtle than Buck’s, but he’d killed an awful lot of folks in his time.

“Me,” he tapped out. “I do it.”

[endsinafight]

Bucky could feel Steve's tension like it was his own, and he wasn't sure if it was because he was also tense or if he was just that adept at reading Steve in general. The other man had gotten better about concealing his feelings, but he'd known him for a long, long time. He knew Steve as well as Steve knew him.

He scraped his teeth over his bottom lip absently, wishing for just one moment that he could let Steve take that hit for him, but he couldn't. He wouldn't.

"You have a team to command. I can do this."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve felt a wave of despair so strong that he almost swayed with it. It was just not fair. Of course Bucky could do it. He was the most capable black operative alive—maybe the best that’d ever been. But he didn’t want to and Steve didn’t want him to do have to do anything he didn’t want to do. For the first time he wondered how unreasonably selfish it was for him to have Bucky even be on his team, be involved with this stuff at all He’d barely asked if he wanted it—just excitedly taken the suggestion and run with it. They had to talk about it when they got home.

It took him awhile to get himself together enough to respond. By the time he felt even approaching good, the quintet landed. There was a rustling as the members of the team got up, got together. The plan was simple—storm the facility.

“Exit the vehicle, do some brief scouting. I need a moment with my XO,” Steve said, in the flat voice of command, and he waited for them all to leave. He put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder—not strong enough to keep him anywhere he didn’t want to be, but enough to signal what Steve wanted was for him to stay.

[endsinafight]

It was impossible not to catch the look of near-disbelief on a couple of the men's faces before they headed out. No doubt they were still in disbelief that the Winter Soldier had been named as Captain America's second in charge. This was not the Howlies, where that had come so naturally. This was a team of strangers. He didn't even know all their names. May never know all their names. He just hoped they all survived the mission so maybe, someday, he'd have the chance to prove to them he was truly on their side.

He hoped like hell they were all really on Steve's.

When the last of the team had exited the jet, Bucky knew he had to be convincing enough for Steve to let this go, and when Steve's hand landed on his shoulder, he didn't flinch or try to move or get up. "I'm okay, Steve." His voice was quiet.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve didn’t want to respond to that. It was a lie and it wasn’t, at the same time. Bucky was coping. He always did and wasn’t that a goddamned miracle. But Steve didn’t like anything about this, not one bit, and he knew Bucky didn’t either.

“Let me do it,” he said, flatly. “Tell me the target and the plans. I’ll do it, we will complete the mission. You lead if anything needs to happen while I’m finishing up and then we go home. I don’t want to have a long conversation now, and I don’t want to order you into anything, but I have to say, Buck, I am ready to do it if I have to.”

His voice was firm, businesslike—but he squeezed Bucky’s shoulder with as much tenderness as he could get through body armor and sat back down next to him, so that he wouldn’t be looming.

[endsinafight]

"That team isn't going to take orders from me," he responded just as flatly. "They don't trust me, and neither one of us can blame them for that." He drew in a slow, deep breath, but somehow Steve's formal tone helped calm his nerves, reminding him of countless times they'd walked into dangerous missions together, even if most of those had been almost a century ago.

But having someone else in on the side mission -- especially someone he knew was trustworthy -- was usually a good idea. Anything could happen.

"The target's name is Katya Belyakov." He pressed his lips together. "Apparently she has mind control abilities that she's been using on HYDRA's behalf." It was a weighted statement for more than one reason. "Expected to be accompanied by a handler named Grant Ward." There was no emotion in his tone. "Extremely dangerous, good at hand to hand combat, on par with Romanov's abilities." To say the least.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve considered this. Like Bucky, treating it as a mission as opposed to something about them, about their relationship—it was helpful. It lowered the stakes, in an odd way. Life or death felt straightforward after everything.

He nodded. “Okay. I can take her. I could take Natasha. The team won’t really need orders, so it won’t matter they don’t fully trust you. And anyway, orders are orders. They’ll do what they have to. I can do it. You stay with the main group.”

[endsinafight]

Life or death wasn't even on Bucky's mind as far as his own safety went. Steve, on the other hand, was a different story.

He met Steve's eyes, holding his gaze for a long moment. "Be careful with Ward," he said after a beat, standing up slowly. "He fights a lot dirtier than Nat does."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve met his eyes, even. He had the sudden and intense urge to lean in and kiss him—it wasn’t the the time for that, especially not since they hadn’t even got there in private yet. But he wanted it and he let some of that love and affection show in his eyes.

“I’ll be careful,” Steve promised. Even if anything happened, it’d be worth it. He’d gladly rather die than force Bucky to fight some HYDRA assholes with mind control powers. He was going to do his best to stay alive—he had a whole bunch of things he wanted to do, starting with a much needed conversation and maybe that kiss. But also: he wouldn’t do that to Bucky.

[endsinafight]

Bucky nodded slightly at that, wishing that he wasn't relieved that Steve was doing this in his place. What kind of asshole let the man he loved take a hit for him that he was capable of taking himself? But no one had accused him of being a good person in a long, long time. Steve didn't count because he was too damned biased and good, and hadn't figured out yet that Bucky wasn't worth all this. His throat felt tight as he exited the quinjet, pulling his gun from its holster, grim determination on his face as he glanced at the rest of the team, who were now milling around just outside the quinjet.

They were far enough back and behind a treeline that it was unlikely that HYDRA had been tipped off about their arrival.

Well. That was about to change, he thought, taking the lead toward the facility.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

The change in mission took a change in gear. He briefly communicated to the others that Bucky was in charge and he felt his own eyes go flinty and hard at the first hint of discomfort. They settled and went along with it. After that, he slung the shield over his back and went back into the quinjet to grab Bucky’s spare sniper rifle. He wasn’t anywhere near Bucky’s caliber with it, but he knew how to use it and he still had superhuman senses. It would be enough.

He steeled himself and went into the facility, using the chaos of his team wrecking shit as distraction. It didn’t take him long to find the target—but what he found drew him up. He saw her a couple dozen meters away from his bolt hole and she was a child—a chubby-cheeked little girl. His stomach twisted hard, a dull sick horror taking home there.

He asked himself, was he going to do it? And maybe the most horrible thing was that the answer was a clear, immediate yes. If it meant sparing Bucky from doing it, he’d take this shot. He always had a strong sense of right and wrong, but just as fundamental was his knowledge of who his people were and the urge to protect him. Bucky was the one that mattered most. Of course he’d do it for him.

But his hesitation cost him. He wasn’t sure what gave him away—maybe it was his thoughts, remembering Bucky talking about mind control. But by the time he got over the shock, she was shooting back at him and under cover.

[endsinafight]

"Captain Rogers. So good of you to come," Grant Ward called out, firing another shot in the direction he'd taken refuge in. "I was wondering if I'd ever get the pleasure of meeting you." He took a cautious step in that direction. He glanced over his shoulder, indicating to Katya to stay out of sight. There was little doubt in his mind that it was her that SHIELD was after, and it probably wasn't for capture.

Over his dead body.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

“I’m not really intending for it to be a pleasure,” Steve said.

Steve wasn’t feeling particularly chatty. He’d have to get through this asshole first, before the dirty work. Okay. He could do that. He abandoned the big, heavy sniper rifle—if this was going to be a hard fight, he needed to play to his strengths—and took his shield in hand.

Plan A was always to run at the enemy, so he did that—he burst out of cover with impossible speed, covering his head and upper body with the shield, and barreled at Ward, darting around to make himself a harder target. He had a small handgun and he took shots at the man as he rapidly closed distance.

[endsinafight]

"Well that's unfortunate. I knew an old friend of yours really well a few years back." His tone was casual. He fired his gun toward Steve's feet, rolling out of the way when the super soldier got too close for comfort. "Katya, a little help, sweetheart?"

"Stop," the girl ordered, voice stronger than one might imagine from someone her size.

--

Across the complex, Bucky heard shots ring out and he flinched involuntarily, quickly taking stock of the team around him. "Do another sweep of the hallways, download all the files onto the flash drives you were provided with and keep your eyes peeled," he said before squaring his shoulders and heading for the East side of the facility with quick steps.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve felt a hot rage in his chest. Why were all these assholes determined to lord their horrific treatment of Bucky over him? Sick fuck.

He was even more determined to kill this guy. But when the little girl commanded him to stop, he did—skidding to a dead halt so fast he nearly fell over. His mind felt like his own, but he just couldn’t move—his pulse sky-rocketed, a strange terror in his chest. He raised his weapon to fire on Grant—she hadn’t told him not to do that.

[endsinafight]

The closer he got to the far side of the building, the more filled with dread Bucky found himself, his heart beat kicking up a notch. He clutched his handgun tightly, rounding each corner and praying to God he didn't turn down a hallway to find Steve's body. He quickly pushed the thought out of his mind.

--

"Point the gun at yourself, Captain," Katya said with a twisted smile.

"This is such a shame. We could have done great things together," Ward said with a sigh.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve pointed the gun at his own head, as simple as that. It was entirely terrifying. His hand didn’t shake, but he felt the inchoate desire to tremble himself to bits anyway. It only was steady because it wasn’t under his control.

“What things did you want to do?” he bit out. He was desperate, stalling for something he didn’t even know—maybe just a few more minutes breathing before he shot his own brains out. All his strength was useless right now. He was just turning it against himself. He thought of his date with Bucky, sitting at the top of the Ferris wheel. He thought of how he looked rumpled and soft first thing in the morning. God, he hoped Ward was a monologing type. He didn’t want to die.

[endsinafight]

Katya slid her gaze to Ward, knowing she would only get stronger with the more fear and pain that Captain Rogers was in, so she simply shrugged a shoulder when he glanced at her, as if giving him permission.

"Convinced you to a new way of thinking, obviously. HYDRA isn't the enemy here. You're on the wrong side of history," Ward informed him, taking a few steps closer.

--

He wasn't prepared for the sight that lay before him when he paused before rounding the final corner of the corridor. Nothing on earth could have prepared him to see Steve pointing a gun at his own head. It was only his training that prevented him from panicking, from making a single sound. From where he stood, he could only see Ward standing toe to toe with Steve, but he knew that the main target had to be just out of his sightline.

His gaze swept around, and he thought he spotted a flash of dark hair, but he gritted his teeth when he couldn't make anything else out.

He was going to have to wait for a clear shot.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

“You look an awful lot like my enemy right now,” Steve snarled. He felt like a trapped animal, lashing out in pain. He was more frightened than maybe he’d ever been. The last time he’d felt this helpless—well. Bucky had been trying to kill him. But even that felt better than this, because he had been comfortable with death as something he deserved for failing the other man so thoroughly.

Now, though, he just kept thinking: I don’t want to die. Not like this. Not without all the things I want to do. Not without taking out the threat. If he had a suicide bomb on him, he would have exploded it without hesitation. But right now he was just going to fruitlessly, pointlessly die. Bucky was going to find him.

“You have me as a captive audience,” Steve said, in a choked voice. “Persuade me. I hear you’re a mighty persuasive guy.”

[endsinafight]

"We can use him as a shield until we get close enough for you to use the others," Ward told her over his shoulder.

"His fear is delicious," she said with a quiet giggle. "He really doesn't want to die. But we all die sometime, Captain Rogers. No one lives forever."

--

Bucky's heart thudded against his ribs, nausea making his stomach turn over, skin crawling. Between Ward's presence, Steve holding a gun to his own head, and Katya being out of sight enjoying this, he knew he couldn't handle this much longer. An idea formed in his head even as the idea filled him with horror, but he hesitated.

He could make Steve drop the weapon regardless of the obvious mind control. It was an easy shot, clear as day, and if he accidentally killed Ward in the process, Fury could get over it. It would flush Katya out of hiding, or at least drive her back so that he could get Steve out of there.

Guilt already swimming in his heart, he raised his gun, and took aim as he sent a silent apology to Steve, a single shot ringing out.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Just as soon as Steve heard the shot, his hand exploded in pain. There was a moment where he thought he’d shot him sled, that he died, that this was it—but then he realized that he hurt way too fucking much to be dead and it was his hand that hurt, not his head. He collapsed to his knees from the pain, gun having fallen out of his hand. He cradled his injury to his chest and was overwhelmingly grateful for it—though honestly, even for him, a wound like this might be hard to recover from fully. A high caliber bullet to the hand was no joke.

But he was alive, entirely alive, and no longer armed to kill himself.

[endsinafight]

The bullet went straight through Steve and then through Ward's left shoulder but it didn't stop him from firing back in the direction the shot had come from.

Bucky barely felt the bullet graze his right arm before he fired another shot, this one at Ward's chest, gaze shifting to see his target move to duck under a table.

A kid. She was a kid. A kid with mind control powers.

Her age didn't matter. She'd had Steve under her control, had nearly made him kill himself and Bucky quickly moved across the floor, closing the distance between them and firing a shot into her skull before he could second guess himself.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve looked up, having gathered himself enough to do it, and saw Bucky shoot the girl in the head. His heart twisted with a strange mix of gratitude and sorrow, but there was still one more threat.

Grunting with pain and effort, he reached for the shield with his left hand and threw it with enormous force at Ward’s head. Steve was kneeling, Ward was under a table—they were at about the same level and Ward wasn’t thinking of Steve as a threat. The shield nearly severed his neck. One way or another, Ward was dead.

“Bucky,” Steve gasped. “Oh god. Thank you.”

[endsinafight]

It took him a moment to stop staring at all the blood, at Katya's tiny, lifeless body, and he felt himself go entirely numb to the horror of it. Lock it away, he thought distantly, pulled from his thoughts by the clatter of Steve's shield being thrown. He turned in time to see it nearly take Ward's head off, and it was all he could do not to throw up at the sight, turning, dazed, to see Steve on his knees, clutching his hand.

There was blood all over him and Bucky had been the one to cause it. He'd shot him. Injured him. Again.

His blood ran cold at the sight and he stood staring, frozen in place, horror in his eyes.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve’s heart was pounding and he felt a little lightheaded with pain—hot and cold trembling flushed through his limbs. He was probably on the edge of going into shock. But by the look on Bucky’s face, he was already there—or worse.

“Hey Buck,” he said, hoarse. “You saved my life. It’s okay, you made the right call. You saved my life.”

He tried to sound tender, but his voice was strained.