Spam for littleguyfrombrooklyn
Feb. 13th, 2020 07:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
endsinafightSweat drips down the back of his neck as he makes his way out of his hut and into the heat of the Wakandan sun. It's later than he usually gets started on things these days, but today he just hadn't had the energy to make himself get out of bed early. He's still tired, even if he shouldn't be. His body doesn't require the kind of sleep that normal humans need, but the last couple of weeks...well. Since he'd woken up from cryofreeze, sleep's been practically non-existent. Between flat out insomnia and nightmares, he doesn't rest much.
But this isn't even that. He knows how he feels after a restless night, and this isn't it. No, his lack of desire to get out of bed or leave his hut or do anything these days has a lot more to do with a six foot blond who's been back in Wakanda since a few days after he'd woken up. He knows Steve's there, because he's picked up the language easily -- which apparently still a thing he can do thanks to HYDRA -- and he hears whispers about "The Nomad" almost every day. He knows exactly who they mean.
He just rarely sees Steve himself. It's not like he's come around. He's not staying with Bucky. He's either in a hotel or at the palace, and that's fine. Really. He gets it. He doesn't blame Steve.
Bucky's still trying to get used to functioning with one arm. Balance has been surprisingly difficult. He's fallen more than once, used to having to lean to the right to balance the excess weight of the arm that had been strapped to him for the last seventy some years. Shuri's offered to make him a new one and he's turned her down. He doesn't need it. Doesn't want it. He's done fighting, thank you very much.
He doesn't bother with shoes as he pads out into the grassy area near the goats, who are definitely acting a lot more jumpy these days. He'd assume it was him, but his presence actually seems to relax them, so he thinks maybe there's a predator on the prowl at night freaking them out. He walks to pick up his garden hoe, because that's another thing that he's doing -- likes it. Finds it soothing. Growing something and helping it thrive instead of ruining it like he has everything else for the majority of his life.
When he rounds the house, he jumps, startled at Steve's sudden appearance. "Jesus Christ,," he mutters, heart pounding hard.
But this isn't even that. He knows how he feels after a restless night, and this isn't it. No, his lack of desire to get out of bed or leave his hut or do anything these days has a lot more to do with a six foot blond who's been back in Wakanda since a few days after he'd woken up. He knows Steve's there, because he's picked up the language easily -- which apparently still a thing he can do thanks to HYDRA -- and he hears whispers about "The Nomad" almost every day. He knows exactly who they mean.
He just rarely sees Steve himself. It's not like he's come around. He's not staying with Bucky. He's either in a hotel or at the palace, and that's fine. Really. He gets it. He doesn't blame Steve.
Bucky's still trying to get used to functioning with one arm. Balance has been surprisingly difficult. He's fallen more than once, used to having to lean to the right to balance the excess weight of the arm that had been strapped to him for the last seventy some years. Shuri's offered to make him a new one and he's turned her down. He doesn't need it. Doesn't want it. He's done fighting, thank you very much.
He doesn't bother with shoes as he pads out into the grassy area near the goats, who are definitely acting a lot more jumpy these days. He'd assume it was him, but his presence actually seems to relax them, so he thinks maybe there's a predator on the prowl at night freaking them out. He walks to pick up his garden hoe, because that's another thing that he's doing -- likes it. Finds it soothing. Growing something and helping it thrive instead of ruining it like he has everything else for the majority of his life.
When he rounds the house, he jumps, startled at Steve's sudden appearance. "Jesus Christ,," he mutters, heart pounding hard.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-02-20 03:05 pm (UTC)Steve hummed briefly in acknowledgment. He could see that Bucky liked the touch so he touched more, letting his hands rub gently up and down Bucky’s side. He gently adjusted the shirt he was wearing. He brushed off a spot of dirt.
He had another strange double moment. He knew that he would, before, find the idea of Bucky not understanding how to value himself intrinsically intolerable. He would attack the problem head on and tell him, you have worth. You’re important.
The wolf in him was largely unconcerned, though. And thinking about the wolf’s reaction gave him an idea.
“It feels weird to focus on yourself?” he asked. He touched Bucky’s cheek, so lightly. “Okay. Do it as a way of serving me. You’re the thing I value most. Take good care of him, for my sake.”
(no subject)
Date: 2020-02-20 03:58 pm (UTC)But the words gave him pause, both because of the phrasing of seeing it as a way to serve Steve. Maybe it was sick, but something warm stirred in his gut, thinking immediately of other ways to serve him. It was tempered with something softer though, when Steve told him that he was the thing he valued the most.
"Can I kiss you?"
(no subject)
Date: 2020-02-20 04:04 pm (UTC)Steve smiled a little playfully and stroked Bucky’s hair.
“Mmm, yes. But first you have to earn the privilege by telling me what you think of my idea,” he said. He winked, making it a clear joke. He was serious though. They needed to find a way for Bucky to value himself.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-02-21 03:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-02-21 03:32 pm (UTC)Steve leaned in and slowly kissed Bucky, soft and sweet. He let Bucky take control of the kiss, if Bucky wanted that control—it felt easy and natural, a breathless give-and-take.
"Thank you," he said, softly, against Bucky’s lips. "I want you to be happy. I want good things for you. That’s what I want."
(no subject)
Date: 2020-02-21 04:23 pm (UTC)Maybe.
"I want that for you, too. I always have."
(no subject)
Date: 2020-02-21 04:34 pm (UTC)Bucky’s emotion emanated out of him in a soft wave of pheromones. For the first time, other than the heat of there sex, Steve didn’t smell that bitter scent that made his nose want to wrinkle off and gave him the urge to sneeze. He wondered exactly what that unpleasant undertone meant—and he made it a personal goal to chase it away as much as he could.
"You’ve been the best thing in my life for a long time," he said. "I’m so happy I have you back."
This little conversation actually made Steve feel better about his change and his new monstrous nature. If he had to trade being human for getting Bucky back, he’d make the trade anyway. Maybe the universe just needed blood.