For littleguyfrombrooklyn

[endsinafight]

Call him a borough snob, but Bucky would always prefer Brooklyn over Manhattan, even if Manhattan was where both his therapist and physical therapist were. Thanks in great part to Steve, who'd gone along with him to both appointments for the last couple weeks, he was starting to feel more comfortable being out and about, even if it still put him on edge. Today, though, he was out on his own because Steve had been called to duty the day before for some kind of mission that he hadn't even been given details on. Just that SHIELD needed him. And Steve being Steve, stepped up to the plate.

That whole thing put him on edge, too. He'd tried texting him a couple times, but Steve hadn't responded yet, so he just hoped his friend was safe and not in any trouble he couldn't handle. He reminded himself that Steve was essentially an actual superhero, and he wouldn't let his thoughts drift too far into worry. Hopefully.

He was in the middle of flagging down a cab after his physical therapy appointment, too tired to walk all the way to the subway when things went to hell.

The sky opened up with a bright light and there were fucking spaceships darting around, shooting at people. For a moment he thought maybe he'd fallen asleep and was having some kind of fucked up dream, but no. Within moments the street was filled with panicked people screaming and running, and there were fires and smoke and utter pandemonium.

"What the fuck?" he muttered, standing frozen in place for a few seconds until he spotted one of the things heading for a woman and two children just a few feet away. He moved fast -- faster than he realized he even could, scooping the crying kids up in his arm and yanking the woman out of the way just as the ship fired at the spot they'd been standing. He pulled them under the cover of an overhang -- not that it would do much good for long.

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[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Tony rolled his eyes again. He had to stop doing that.

“He doesn’t have anybody, really. Nobody looking out for him. You could be wanting anything. Forgive me for caring.”

He was done with this conversation. He was still concerned, but Bucky wasn’t having any of it. He’ll try cap sometime. Raise the concern of I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger...

Standing up, he was just turning to say his goodbyes when Steve walked back into the room. The sweatshirts Tony had leant them were too loose around his waist, having misjudged how tiny his hips would be and the white cotton t-shirt was tight, damply sticking to his skin.

He was toweling off his hair and he blinked in surprise when he saw Tony. “You’re still here.”

[endsinafight]

"He has me," Bucky said evenly. He watched Tony rise to his feet, doing his best to tamp down the wave of resentment he felt at the accusation that he wanted anything from Steve aside from his friendship. Tony didn't know him at all, and he sure as hell didn't know Steve. He rose to his feet, too, fully ready to have words that were a lot less civil than the ones he'd already set forth when he caught sight of Steve stepping into the room, drying his hair on a towel.

His right hand was curled into a fist and he forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out slowly, flexing his fingers and trying to let his expression slide into an expression less murderous than the one he currently wore. He turned away abruptly, rubbing his hand over his face, shoulders tense.

Don't ruin this for Steve, he thought. Whether he liked the guy or not, Steve was probably going to need Tony's help in the future, when it came to all the superhero stuff. He picked up his empty plate and carried it to the sink, working his jaw a few times as he ran some water over the dishes to rinse them off.

"Bucky Bear was kind enough to share some of my fruit with me," Tony responded, smiling at Steve. "Good shower? Water hot enough?"

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve’s eyes followed Bucky to the sink. He could see tension in his body, watched his jaw work. He couldn’t help himself—anger welled up on him, protective and intense.

“What did you say, Tony?” he said, low. A little dangerous.

[endsinafight]

"Why don't we step into the other room, Cap?" Tony suggested, nodding toward the hallway that led toward the guest bedrooms. "I'd like to talk to you about something."

Bucky pressed his lips together, staring down at the suds building in the sink for a few seconds before taking a breath and glancing over his shoulder to look at Steve, giving him a quick nod, silent reassurance that he was fine. Pissed off and bitter, but fine. He had enough experience handling those emotions even if he liked to think he'd mellowed out considerably since he was a teenager.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve’s eyes studied Bucky for a long time, searching. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but eventually he followed Tony into the hall.

He folded his arms across his chest and glared.

“He doesn’t deserve any crap from you, Stark,” he said.

[endsinafight]

"I wasn't giving him crap," Tony responded, raising his eyebrows. "I was just trying to get to know the guy." He held his hands up like he was surrendering. He didn't want to be on Cap's bad side -- if the man even had one. The way his dad talked about him, Rogers was practically some kind of saint. "Speaking of which...how well do you know him?"

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

What a question. Steve felt like he knew Bucky better than anyone he’d ever met, like every molecule in his body had happily started vibrating in tune to his. He, at the same time, felt like he knew nothing—Bucky was a glorious mystery and could delight him with surprises at any given moment. There was so much to know about Bucky, and he wanted to find it out. All of it—his mind flashed to a very particular set of thoughts and his cheeks betrayed him by going ever so slightly pink.

“Enough to know I trust him more than anyone else in this century. Why do you care?” he said.

[endsinafight]

Tony studied him as Steve considered the question. It really wasn't that difficult to see that the guy was enamored. Ugh. Young love. It usually meant a lot of stupidity and doing a lot of things you regret later in life. Though he supposed Steve was already far later in life than most people, at least technically speaking. The rest...hell. The guy was younger than he was. It was really kind of screwed up.

"I just do." He focused on him for a moment, sighing and shaking his head. "Cap, a hell of a lot's changed since the thirties and forties. You gotta be careful, you know? Sometimes people don't turn out to be who you think they are."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve’s eyes narrowed and the blue of them went even more flinty, suspicious.

“If you’re trying to say something, say it. Do you know something about Bucky I don’t? Or are you just being an asshole?” he said. He wasn’t yet furious, but he was getting there. How dare he imply whatever he was implying about that good man.

[endsinafight]

"Bucky specifically? No. People in general? Yes. I've had my fair share of hard lessons learned. Sometimes it's really hard to see when you're too close to a situation. I just want you to be careful. That's all." Tony shrugged. "That's my advice. Take it or leave it."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

That was easily the most sincere he’d ever heard Tony and it brought Steve up short. He studied him for a moment and finally spoke.

“Thanks for your concern.” It was only a little grudging. “I only really am friends with Bucky, so there’s nothing really to worry about. And it’s not right for you to upset him in particular with worries that aren’t even about him.”

[endsinafight]

Tony shifted, lifting his chin and humming quietly. He didn't agree, because there was something off about Barnes that unsettled him just a bit, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was, either. He nodded. "I'll show myself out. Feel free to stay here as long as you need." He paused for a moment, glancing over his shoulder to where Bucky was cleaning up the kitchen. "Both of you."

Without waiting for a response, Tony turned and headed out of the apartment once more, leaving the two soldiers alone.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

There was quiet in the kitchen. Steve studied Bucky’s back, as he did the dishes.

“I trust you,” he blurted out. It was totally sincere, but he didn’t know he was going to say that. When he started talking, he decided that he was in for a penny and kept going, repeating himself in a softer tone.

“I trust you so much, Buck.“

[endsinafight]

He'd done his best to ignore the quiet conversation from the other room while Steve and Stark had been conversing. It wasn't any of his business, even if he knew what Stark was likely saying. Saying about him. A few weeks ago he wouldn't have given a damn what some rich asshole thought about him, and really, he still didn't. But the idea that he had some ulterior motive for befriending Steve bothered him in ways that he hadn't expected. Maybe it was because he knew there were plenty of people out there who'd be more than happy to do exactly what Stark was suggesting, and because Steve was a genuinely good person who might not see it coming.

Bucky closed his eyes as Stark exited the apartment, still tense and more riled up than he wanted to be, but Steve's response made his shoulders drop. He chewed the inside of his cheek for a few seconds, doing his best to try and calm his nerves before he turned to face the other man.

"And I'd never betray that trust," he said, voice just as quiet.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve nodded, taking a few steps to close the distance between them. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants to prevent himself from reaching out to touch him.

“I know you won’t,” Steve said. “But I wanna disagree anyway, kinda. It’s not like that. I’m not doing you a favor by trusting you or being your friend. I just trust you. I’m just your friend. I’m just—I’m just a guy who cares an awful lot about you.”

He smiled, trying to make a little joke about it. “You’d know better than most that there’s not much benefit to being my friend other than my lousy company.”

[endsinafight]

Bucky found himself holding his breath as Steve spoke, expression softening slightly at his words. At his reassurance. Nodding slightly, he smiled back, corners of his lips turned upwards almost involuntarily. "I know," he admitted. "I didn't think otherwise." He really hadn't. Steve didn't strike him as the type of person to think that highly of himself, to believe that his trust and friendship were worth so much, even if they were. Steve just didn't know it yet, but one day, Bucky was going to make him see his worth as a person.

He rolled his eyes at the joke. "I happen to like your lousy company. Also your cooking skills have improved about 1000% since we first met, so there's that, too." He smirked.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve smiled back, eyes soft and fond. “You’re making me a better person in all sorts of ways.”

He wanted nothing more than to close the little gap between them and start hugging him again, like they’d been doing before Tony interrupted. The urge was strong enough he almost wondered if he should run away or something, spade Bucky any risk.

[endsinafight]

"Giving me way too much credit," Bucky said honestly. "You were already a good person, Steve." But he still smiled softly in response, unable to help himself. It was hard to look at Steve, smiling like that, and not smile back at him.

He drew in a breath, looking down at his dirty clothes and grimacing. "I should get cleaned up too."

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve straightened up and said, “Of course! My shower felt amazing. I wouldn’t want you to miss it.”

He felt the urge to show Bucky to the bathroom—but he was a grown man, he could find it himself.

“It’s just down the hall.”

[endsinafight]

He nodded at that, not quite able to resist the urge to reach out and pat Steve's shoulder as he passed, gripping it momentarily and giving it an affectionate squeeze before heading down the hall to find the bathroom. He was still bothered by the fact that Stark seemed to think he wanted something from Steve, but being around Steve always made him feel better about things. He took his time in the shower, contemplating Tony's words.

He supposed the timing of his nervous breakdown had been really shitty. The wrong person would wait for exactly that kind of moment, when Steve was emotionally overcharged, and physically taxed out to lay some kind of trap. Like faking a panic attack.

Bucky sighed heavily, letting his forehead rest against the tile as the hot water rained down on him, trying to will away his thoughts.

[littleguyfrombrooklyn]

Steve didn’t often use his phone to find out information. It was easier to just ask Bucky, even if Bucky was only going to search the answer out on his phone. He always liked the excuse to talk to him.

Now, though, he sat down on the couch with his phone in hand and carefully typed: “courting a man gay.” His heart was pounding. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to do that. He got some results about the Supreme Court, but there was a website about dating men and he clicked it. Much of the advice was about how to write a dating profile on an app. That wasn’t what Steve was looking for.

He tried searching “getting over a crush on a friend,” but he didn’t even want to click those results. He felt strange and selfish, more than a little overwhelmed. He held his head in his hands and tried to get himself together.